But Will She Sing "We Saw Your Boobs?"

Hopefully the Jaws theme didn't play her off

Ellen DeGeneres will return as master of ceremonies for the 86th Academy Awards, in an announcement that was thankfully not nearly as drawn out is it usually is.  She will offer a warm, safe cuddliness following the nasty aftertaste that followed Seth McFarlane's divisive turn this past year, which all in all isn't such a bad thing after all.  This marks her second gig taking on the most thankless job in show business-- her first was in 2007, the year The Departed won the top prize.

Here's her 2007 opening monologue...are you pleased or bored by the choice?

To the critics that my recoil upon the announcement, remember when she hosted the Emmy Awards in the wake of the 9/11 attack with such poise, tact, grace and more than a little bite:

"We're told to go on living our lives as usual, because to do otherwise is to let the terrorists win, and really, what would upset the Taliban more than a gay woman wearing a suit in front of a room full of Jews?"